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Writer's pictureEmily Gay

Understanding and Overcoming Sexual Aversion

Sexuality Education

naked women covered behind door in black and white photo


A·ver·sion /əˈvərZH(ə)n/ noun a strong dislike or disinclination.


I am afraid to engage in sexual intercourse with another person

I have repeatedly avoided all or almost all genital sexual contact with a sexual partner

I have avoided sexual relations recently because of my sexual fears


I believe my attitudes about sex are abnormal


My sex life has always been a source of dissatisfaction


I try to avoid situations where I might get involved sexually


Sound familiar?

If you can relate to any of these feelings, you might be experiencing something known as Sexual Aversion Syndrome or Sexual Aversion Disorder (SAD). Aversion is characterized by a persistent or extreme unwillingness to engage in sexual activity, with avoidance of any touching or communication that might lead to sexual involvement.


This syndrome often presents as a lack of libido, low sex drive, inhibited sexual desire, or arousal dysfunction.


This problem is far too common, yet it often remains undiagnosed because people tend to attribute it to having a low libido, leading them to overlook the underlying issue.


I've had the privilege of working with numerous clients who express a strong desire for a passionate and fulfilling sex life but find themselves struggling with a lack of libido. While not all of them meet the criteria for a diagnosable Sexual Aversion Disorder, a significant number grapple with various desire-related challenges that have left them feeling disconnected from their own sexuality and the ability to experience passion. These desire disorder issues are too common and our society is to blame (mostly).



How do we deal with it?


Get curious: Start your journey by reflecting on your feelings and experiences related to sex and intimacy. Consider journaling about how the thought of sex makes you feel. Write down the emotions it brings up and any memories associated with those feelings.

Get in touch with a professional: Dealing with Sexual Aversion Disorder on your own can be incredibly challenging. Given that most people have had limited education on sexuality and sex, it's essential to connect with a professional who specializes in helping clients with these experiences.

Be open: Discussing matters that bring us shame can be difficult, but talking about what brings us shame in supportive environments is a vital part of healing. You don't need to share everything, but you may be surprised to find how many others in your life are dealing with similar issues.

Education: If you want to overcome sexual aversion, you need to understand it, including its potential causes, coping strategies, and paths to healing. Remember; knowledge is power.

Self care: The process of healing through a sexual aversion disorder can be a painful and hard one. So, it is important to always have self-care practices in place that offer you a sense of security and peace.


Remember that sexual aversion is a complex issue, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Seek professional determine the underlying causes and develop a tailored approach for addressing and overcoming the disorder.


 

Still have questions? Schedule a session here.


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